


Patterns of Warmth, 10 - Currents

by IreneClaire



Series: Dimensions [17]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Steve McGarrett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24306775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IreneClaire/pseuds/IreneClaire
Summary: Another short verse in this fun little AU featuring C.J., Charlie, sometimes Grace and of course ... Steve and Danny as an established pair. Told from Steve's POV, an unexpected rip current brings this family closer yet.Comfort, family and lots of feels.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett & Danny "Danno" Williams, Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Series: Dimensions [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1022352
Comments: 5
Kudos: 66





	Patterns of Warmth, 10 - Currents

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any characters. No copyright infringement intended.
> 
> Notes: Another diversion in this AU Verse. A short one-shot which blasted through and out of my brain w a need to "get out" despite the fact I am still working on Patterns: Connections.
> 
> Thanks to Phoebe for the fast Beta and the helpful exchange of ideas (aka - battering of stubborn bunny) to make this more cohesive - AU or not!

**H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O**

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Teeth chattering words all of which meant no. _No. Not at all._ Both of them were so very far from okay or good in fact, that Danny's pallor not only was gray, he was visibly shaking. Wrapped in a towel, Steve could still see the tremors that rippled nonstop through Danny's shoulders and back muscles. He was on his feet though and for that, Steve was both relieved and impressed.

As for himself? Hindsight was 20-20 and Steve was about to self-implode from blame. Right now though, Danny and Charlie remained his top priorities.

"Danno?" Steve pressed as Danny swayed, stopping a downwards fall by bending over, hands to each knee. Steve chuffed a worried sound as Danny feigned peering down closer at his son.

"Yeah, sure." Danny's voice was muffled. Staying bent over, he released one knee to finger-comb Charlie's wet hair. He wasn't listening to Steve yet. Not really. It was a damned miracle that Danny was still stubbornly on his feet. But Charlie was the sole reason for that miracle and Danny would persevere for as long as it took to ensure his son was truly okay.

Steve scowled as he looked on, worried and feeling a bit helpless as C.J. wrapped himself around his torso. There would be a crash. And when Danny did crash … because he would … it would be of stellar proportions.

"Charlie's good," Steve said, saying what he knew Danny needed to hear. "Right Charlie? You're okay ... everything is okay now." He got a watery smile in return and a hesitant nod. Charlie was already starting to bounce back and yet, he was still looking to both him and his Danno to validate that the scare was indeed over and done with. Much like his father in some ways, with all the attention he was still receiving, Charlie wasn't entirely secure about things being really okay. Nevertheless, ten to one, he'd recover faster than his father.

"Danno?" Charlie's voice stayed a bit thin as he looked to his father for comfort and again, to Danny's incredible credit, he smiled.

"You're good, buddy," Danny managed a raspy coo-like sound which Charlie accepted well enough. "It happens … and it's all good now. How do you feel? How's your knees, huh?"

Upset by the timbre in Danny's voice, Steve's eyes wandered briefly to the superficial scrapes from volcanic sand twinned on the boy's knees. Either one of them could easily have taken care of Charlie's bruised knees but that wasn't the crux of the issue. Steve tried to take a settling breath as he looked around the scene, automatically clocking the activity as it calmed down.

Though it looked as if the beach lifeguards were still swarming, their actions were controlled and deliberate. Heads were counted, the public soothed and the four or five beach-goers who'd been surprised by the fast moving riptide had all been happily rescued. They'd all been very lucky.

Including Charlie … and then Danny.

Steve scrubbed hard at his face, battling his self-induced anger. He hadn't been there because he'd taken C.J. for a short trip to the public restrooms. Arms now full of his second wide-eyed son, who he'd left with a friend on the sand to meet Danny further down the beach, Steve pressed a semi-distracted kiss to the top of C.J.'s head.

"They're okay," he both said and signed when C.J. tapped his chest. Ever-trusting of his father's word, C.J. nodded and didn't ask for anything else. He was watching both his brother and Danno though. Still as over-whelmed as Charlie. Steve bit back another privately voiced curse. He should have known. Not that he could have predicted the tides, but he just should have …. he also should have been there to go into the ocean after Charlie … not Danny.

"Fuck," Steve murmured under his breath as Danny glanced his way. His eyes were glassy and showing both an old and new strain. He was going to crash and crash hard.

"He's good … Charlie's good," Steve repeated. "Terra firma. He's good … you are too … so I'll pack us up. We'll go home and hang out. Maybe order pizza or Chinese. Or, I'll grill us up something special."

Danny didn't answer him at all as he turned back towards Charlie and tried to absorb what the two lifeguards were telling him. But that was alright.

As Charlie was handed off to his father and Steve collected them under his proverbial wing, the blame-game was well in progress.

_He'd almost lost them both._

Steve should have been there. Hell, they should have stayed home at their perfectly good private spit of sand. But the boys had wanted the chaos of a real public beach to play with their friends. To surf on bigger waves and well, that had just all made sense until about fifteen minutes ago.

Hindsight was 20-20 and as he started to pack up their things from the beach, one eye on his three boys. Marveling about how Charlie was already racing his brother to the truck, skinned knees equally forgotten in the scramble, Steve wanted to kill himself.

**H5O* H5O**

The crash happened hours later. Well after Danny had powered through the afternoon and early evening hours. Much later than Steve had anticipated even after putting the boys to bed. Steve didn't even bother asking as he trailed on Danny's heels from the boys' shared bedroom. In fact, other than being focused on the boys, the two men hadn't really spoken directly to each other the rest of that day. Neither needed to acknowledge Danny's childhood loss. The similarity between what had happened so long ago back on a Jersey beach and now, with Charlie, brought almost too much for Danny to contend with. It didn't need to be voiced out loud: it just was.

So, they didn't speak other than to their boys or about their boys, or even about superficial things like washing dishes or folding laundry.

It was almost as if they sensed the others' cracks would become fissures and they'd fall apart like shattered glass. They couldn't risk falling apart in front of the boys.

The smile which Danny had plastered to his face evaporated as soon as he'd kissed each boy goodnight. Lingering for just a moment over Charlie, Danny had paused for just a second or two, no doubt ensuring his son continued breathing. Likely still warring with himself before he left the room but giving in finally to his emotions.

Steve didn't say a word. Danny was already breathing hard; the panted sound ending on a pained whine. This fall would be hard and the only thing Steve could do was be there for his partner as it happened. So instead of trying to stop him, Steve just followed in Danny's wake. He followed him outside where he allowed Danny the luxury of punting more than half of their beach gear roughly across the lanai. Toy pails. Plastic shovels. Two beach chairs were sent sailing through the air. He only bodily intercepted Danny's next move when he turned back towards the house, chest heaving and nearly blinded by tears. The hunched shoulders and balled up fists were enough clues that Danny apparently intended on punching his fist straight through one of the panes in the lanai's pretty glass doors.

Steve didn't even blink as he stepped into Danny's swing, blocking it neatly and then warding off a brief, thoughtless tussle of sorts. No words were spoken. Nothing. There was no sound except for the harshness of Danny's breathing which was fast becoming sob.

Steve truly got it. Part of him wanted to do precisely what Danny was doing now: blow a gasket. Scream. Break something. Hurt himself as a way of dealing with all the ' _what could have beens_ '.

And they both knew what _could have been_ from too much and very painful past, personal experience.

Steve held all of those things inside, too. He knew that he could have lost both of them. The mantra had been playing over and over and over inside his soul that entire afternoon. The terrible thoughts scared him half to death. His internal sense of blame was strong and he was only coping by making Danny his focus.

_He should have been there. He should have just known._

But he hadn't been until it was almost too late and he hadn't read the water well that day. He held no excuses for himself. So Steve knew that Danny wanted to cut loose even more. Inside, he wanted to do exactly the same thing. Instead, Steve physically held Danny back. He shoved that sickly mantra down to focus just on Danny and let Danny grapple with him for those few seconds it took for Danny to pause and really _see_ him. Understand that this step would cause regret and maybe even a hospital visit. Steve got all of that, too. He knew what taking this fear and anger too far would do. Because when this all blew over - and it would - they'd have two little kids to look after and Danny didn't need a physical injury or a dumb thing to try and explain away to two very savvy children. When Danny knuckled the tears from his eyes, his shoulders sagging, only then did Steve drop his hands and let Danny pick the next move.

"He could have died." Rough and tired, Danny's voice was just above a whisper and the shakes were just starting. Nonetheless, Steve felt some of his own tension bleed away though. Talking was good. Talking would start healing them both and maybe allow them to forget what had almost happened … just a little bit.

"Charlie's safe and sound asleep right here. Right now," Steve chose to gently remind Danny of the current truth. Danny nodded, the relief clear in his eyes.

"He almost did though. I almost didn't reach him. I almost …. When he went under and I lost him …," Danny whispered almost frantically with fears that were far too fresh. "What if I hadn't reached him? What if …?" His hands balled back up just once before he seemed to get himself under control.

"But you did and you didn't lose him. You got to him and …," Steve tried to soothe, understanding what he was saying would scarcely mean anything. Inside, he was mimicking his partner almost word for word and it was quietly tearing him up.

_I almost lost you both. Then what? What would I do without you … Charlie? How would I have been able to explain any of it to C.J.?_

"You weren't there. You don't know. I almost didn't make it to him. And then I couldn't make it back." Panicked words driven by fear spewed from Danny's mouth and Steve's throat closed up.

_Fuck. No. I wasn't there … I should have been and I wasn't. But I know. I do._

"I'm sorry, Danny." Steve literally choked the words out when he inhaled a sharp breath and forced his inner voice to shut its rant. He swallowed hard to get his next words out.

"I wasn't there fast enough. I might not have been there, but I do know. I know what it's like to get caught in a riptide, Danny. I know what could have happened. And I'm sorry; I should have been there faster; hell, it never should have happened in the first place."

 _It should have been me. I should have known._ Steve briefly closed his eyes as a very real pain lanced through his gut.

"It should have been me," he muttered under his breath, his words lost as Danny started to ramble.

"I didn't know," Danny was saying. "The whistles … the lifeguards? They started to call people out of the water. But it was too late. Charlie lost his boogie board and he went under twice. Maybe three times. It happened so fast … so fast … and I just reacted. I went in after him."

Steve stepped forward, nonplussed when Danny took a clumsy step backwards, hands raised high. "Steve. We almost didn't make it back."

"You did though," Steve tried to find some calm for them both but Danny shook his head. His hands flailed through the air. His mouth opened and then snapped closed. There were no more words inside for what Danny was feeling. Still, he seemed to be searching for those words which simply wouldn't come anymore.

"Danno," Steve breathed out his name and stepped forward again, meeting Danny as he finally fell into his arms.

"I almost lost him," Danny choked out into his chest. "Like … before."

Vainly trying to shush away old demons, Steve pulled him closer when Danny's arms found his waist, clinging to him now in earnest.

"I should have been there faster," Steve said. "I should have known …"

"But I didn't lose him …. because of you," Danny said, his voice still muffled. "We're here because of you."

"W-what?" Steve felt the shock ripple through him. He pulled back just enough, keeping Danny in his arms. He looked down into his face.

"How do you figure that?" Steve dared to ask. He swallowed hard again as that sensation of not being able to breathe once again closed his throat. He coughed as the threat of tears pricked his eyes.

"I don't understand. It should have been me … and I should have known the currents were off …Danny, what happened today was my fault."

"No. We live with a SEAL," Danny interrupted him with a tired-sounding but genuine chuckle. "C.J. Charlie. Me. And yeah, we were scared to death. But Charlie … he said … _Uncle Steve? He's on the beach … he'll come..._ and I knew you would … and we did what you said … we waited ..."

With a choked out sob, Steve stopped Danny right there. He dropped his forehead to Danny's before kissing the side of his head, his cheek and then finding his mouth.

"Even when you're not there … you are," Danny murmured between them, his face now cupped in the warmth of Steve's hands. "I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you … we love you."

Incredulous, Steve stared down into Danny's eyes. Danny was still shaking. He looked completely wiped out and needed to get off his feet. Yet, this quiet time between them - this private closeness, filled a void - it also filled a desperate need to be as one as fears slowly began to fade. They both knew what could have happened and yet, they'd find that place where it would all be okay.

"I love you too," Steve said as he gently rocked his forehead against Danny's and closed his eyes. He found a smile as the knot inside his chest slowly began to unravel, finally allowing him the chance to breathe easier.

_**~ End. ~** _


End file.
